Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Month-long "Manland" plans foiled!  

Not so fast, boys! "Manland" will not be in effect the week of July 11,
because it will Barnali's week working from SF. Hahahahaha. (posted by
barnali on 6/30/04 at 5:16 pm)

Starting next week, Julie will be staying in Bordeaux for a month. This fact, coupled with the fact that Bree and Barnali spend the weeks in Oregon as part of their job, means that for the upcoming four weeks, Goatland will no longer be holding on to its already tenuous weekday gender balance. Thus, during the week, Goatland will be officially known as.... MANLAND.

I, for one, welcome this pending regime change, and hope for a future in which all the interests and concerns of the people of MANLAND can be addressed in a fair and democratic context.

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Steve peers into the empty breadmaker and says, "Where's the bread?"
"Make some, Steve." -Julie
"I can't, i'm feeling sleepy, and it needs active yeast. My sleepiness might rub off onto it." -Steve
"Steve, here's a recipe. Make some bread." -Julie
"No, it's like squatter's rights. Once you've provided a service long enough, it becomes your duty. Jon needs to make the bread." -Steve
"So, basically, I'm your bread bitch?" -Jon

Friday, June 18, 2004

Two absolutely ridiculous hotel amenities:

Tanning Butlers - The ultimate in service and sun bathing convenience. Two beautiful tanning butlers circulate the pool Friday-Sunday equipped with holsters full of tanning products and apply them upon guests request.

Water Ballet - With a nod to yesteryear, five modern mermaids lead guests from the lobby, outdoors to the pool deck every Thursday through Sunday at 6 p.m., when they shed their costumes and begin a sunset water ballet performance, recalling the days of Esther Williams – with a modern twist!

Thursday, June 17, 2004

And now, just to spice things up: To the girl on the bus that likes porn

At first I thought whoever stole my wallet would just take the cash and use my credit cards until I cancelled them. But no, now she's buying shoes at Macy's with my checks. She's probably even found this website.

Confidential to Whoever You Are: Your days are numbered, thief!

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

"Steeeeve!" Julie calls in an attempt to get him back on the phone with his girlfriend.
Steve runs up the stairs.
Julie hands Steve the phone.
"I come! I mean, she calls so I come." -Steve
[insert excessive amounts of giggling here]

Monday, June 14, 2004

congratulations to Barnali and Steve on their shiny new masters degrees!

Thursday, June 10, 2004

Completely out of the blue, my CEO just emailed the company giving us tomorrow off! This is out of respect for President Reagan's death and because most of our clients are state governments that will be closed anyway.

Ironically, my office had planned to essentially take the day off by cleaning up the park around Coit tower all afternoon. Our only hope is that the City of San Francisco, especially the Parks Department, is also observing this uber-republican holiday....chances are slim.

Monday, June 07, 2004

Everyone in Goatland is a wonderful person. I love you all, and I love living here. You are all fun, exciting, interesting, and dynamic individuals. I am delighted when I wake up in the morning, and I am delighted when I get home from work. I'm a happy boy... with a breadmaker... and Bitch magazine... and my corn and tuna... and my european beers... and the hammock. happy.

Sunday, June 06, 2004

The shower and washing machine are spoken for, but does anyone want the freezer? It's now at room temperature and dripping brown goo.

Thursday, June 03, 2004

"Wait, woodchucks can't chuck wood?" - Barnali

a recent IM conversation:

Shri: and what's it like living with two sickeningly-together couples in the same place???
Jon: thank goodness the girls are gone during the week
Shri: LOL
Shri: i NEVER thought my dear darling jaded, cynical B would become one of those gushing, saccharine idiots!

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

update: Steve has agreed to let Jon videotape him doing the chicken dance. Expect a video to appear by tomorrow :-)

R.I.P. the nameless ones.

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Ironically, or maybe not ironically at all, Barnali and Bree have been wondering aloud all day how Steve is doing. Neither of them think to check the blog.

They can wonder aloud without bothering other people because they now share a very small cubicle.

Steve misses Barnali.

In his time of trauma, Steve really wishes Barnali was at his side.

Steve misses Barnali.

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